Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Doctor’s advice or mother knows best?

Chloe is such a big girl! She is 14.5 lb and 25.5 inches long! She is called our little Chloe bear, chunky monkey (she plays with her feet more than she plays with her hands) our little peanut and little Bit yes all fun nick names. Her Doctor’s visit went very good, the immunizations put her to sleep most of the day yesterday so today she is ready to play. She has been eating rice cereal for about a week now and loves it! She even brings her mouth to the spoon, and is learning where her tongue goes. She is getting very independent all ready she doesn’t want to be held all the time and likes her space when she is sleeping. .. hum sounds a lot like me.

So our doctor came in and said that she is healthy and we are doing a good job, Yay we passed the 4 month cheek up. Then he asked how the sleeping patterns are going, she will sleep for about 7 hours until she wakes up and wants to nurse, it takes some time to get her to sleep, around 1-2 hours at night and she will not take an afternoon nap, how she can stay wake for so long is beyond me. He then said that when it’s time to go to sleep, she should be placed in her bed when she is drowsy and have her go to sleep on her own, if she cries and she will then let her cry it out, come in every five minutes and put your hand on her and tell her it’s all right and then leave for another five minutes and then repeat this cycle until she has fallen asleep. Do not pick her up, that will undo all that you have been working for. It will be hard at first but it will get better for you. OK WHAT is he talking about? I find joy in rocking her to sleep, I only have so long until she doesn’t want to be held and I want to cherish those quiet and intimate moments while I still can. I have some problems with this advice, 1. She is 4 months old she needs cuddling time 2. As a mom isn’t it your right to soothe her when she needs soothing? 3. I don’t like hearing her scream when I know all I have to do is hold her to calm her down. I know that eventually we will have to deal with a “bed time ritual” we have one that we don’t deviate from it’s small and not always the best way , but we have one, and part of that is holding her until she goes to sleep. So what do you say? I would love to hear your comments because the thought of letting her cry it out is crazy. Do you think I am right in holding her since she is only 4 months or is she old enough to self soothe herself? And isn’t there a law when it comes to babies, you can never spoil them enough? For now I will hold her when she is upset, and hold her while she falls asleep.


Jessica Sorensen said...

i started letting Addi cry herself to sleep at 3 months. If we rocked her to sleep she would wake up when we lay her down. The going in every 5 min didn't work she would cry more if she saw us and we weren't picking her up. Do whatever you want. I have to let my child cry or she won't go to sleep but my mother-in-law hates that I do that and just wants to rock her to sleep. Whatever works for you but you may want her to fall asleep on her own someday.

nathan n rachel said...

Since I'm not an expert I can't say much except that's a tough decision. Good luck with it.

Rachel Kerr said...

Preface: I have been taking care of other people kids for 6 years. I have worked at daycares, and then as a nanny. I have basically brought up four kids from newborn to 2/3 years. I will tell you from all of my professional experience there is NOTHING more harmful you can do to YOURSELF than continue to put her to sleep. I promise! I know this sounds harsh, but I have seen some of the worst kids and some of the best. The longer you wait to implement that "bedtime routine" the harder it becomes.
I am currently watching a little girl who was 19 months when I started with her. She would not sleep anywhere but her parents bed and woke up 3-4 times a night. They had another baby who I have taken care of since she came home from the hospital at 3 days (she is 6 months). The baby sleeps thru the night, while her two year old sister does not. Lisa, PLEASE. email me if you need more advice on how to do this without feeling bad. it sucks, believe me. But it will be WAY worse if you wait until she's old enough to scream "mommy!" from her bed.

Ricky-Sam-Caleb said...

I didn't let Caleb cry himself to sleep until he was 10 mths old.

I tried the Ferber method (the one you decribe in your post) well I think it is a bunchof bull.... going in to just touch thier back every five minutes makes it worse.

If you are going to let her cry to sleep just do it. It gets easier as the nights go on snd they cry less and less. Make sure you have something you can do yourself, watch tv with the volume up, listen to music.... Good luck!

The one thing I learned with Caleb, do what works best for you and your family.... every child is different and you are the mom!